Have you ever wondered how some people seem to be happy and positive all the time, or at least look like they have bounced back quickly when life gets tough? And then there are others, who seem to only see the negatives in every situation, always grumbling and thinking the world is stacked against them.
Of course, no one is really happy all of the time. We all have days we’d rather forget, or experience life events that knock us off course. But throughout our lives, many of us spend a large amount of time, pursuing pastimes, careers and experiences that will bring us joy.
But in reality, true happiness, happens from the inside, it’s a state of mind.
Whilst I’m sure there are some people who are genetically geared to happiness, for most people, it takes a lot of time to see the beauty in everything, especially the bad stuff. But the good news is, we are all completely in control of how we react and feel in any situation. And with that, we get to decide how long we will stay down for.
There are many ways to achieve happiness. Here are some of my favourites:
1.) See every challenge as an opportunity in disguise
When things don’t go the way, you were hoping. It’s usually because there is an experience, or new lesson to learn from the situation. People who are made redundant, normally tell you a year down the line, that it was the best thing that ever happened to them. If you are working on a project and funding gets pulled, being more resourceful and creative, usually leads to new innovative approaches that can spark all kinds of new opportunities down the line. Whenever you hit a bump in the road and you aren’t quite sure why something is happening the way it is, ask yourself….”What can I learn from this situation?“
2.) Dwelling on the past is a futile endeavour
We’ve all been there. You screw up in an interview, you say something ridiculous in a meeting. You embarrass yourself on a first date. Whatever your thing is or was. Going over it again and again in your mind, changes nothing. Apart from your levels of anxiety, shame, guilt or sadness etc.
Whilst it’s easier said than done; and there might be a level of letting the mind process things, at least in the first few hours. Learning to let things go is going to serve you well.
If you messed up, you messed up. Use it as an example to help someone in a similar situation down the line, find the humour in it, but don’t beat yourself up. The chances of someone sat at home thinking about how you screwed up is fairly slim. Most people are thinking about their own stuff!
3.) Set boundaries but come from a place of service
Sounds like a bit of an oxymoron. But when you are of service, when you give away your time, knowledge, help, wisdom. When you show up as your best self. You can get a lot of enjoyment from being of service. Especially when you are sharing your passions, skills and experience. I’m not saying give all your stuff away from free, after all if you are in business for a reason. But when you think about the people you want to do business with, I bet it’s the people who have provided you with value and have been helpful.
But when you come from a place of service. You also have to set healthy boundaries. Things you won’t do for free, times when you are going to be with family over people you won’t work with because their values are not in alignment with your own. Setting boundaries and sticking to them will bring you the great happiness. You wont resent people that test you or ask too much of you and you’ll have time to do all the things you want and on your terms.
There are many other secrets to happiness, like taking time to relax, not taking things personally, enjoying being in nature, learning that money isn’t everything, or following your souls’ purpose. How do you remain in a state of happiness? What have you found works for you when things don’t go to plan? Please leave me a comment below.