40 Life Lessons by the Age of 40
40 Life Lessons by 40

Epsiode #9

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In episode #9 join me as I celebrate my 40th birthday. I answer the questions I ask my guests and share 40 Life Lessons by the Age of 40. Some deep and meaningful lessons and others not so!

I also share more details on the upcoming free gratitude challenge starting on the 1st December. I hope you enjoy the show.

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Gratitude Journey Challenge https://visualiseyou.com/gratitude 

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Full Show Transcript

Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode number nine of the Visualise You show I'm your host Beth Hewitt. And today is a special episode because it's my 40th birthday. And so what I thought would be really nice to do today is kind of 40 life lessons. I have learned over the last 40 years now.

I asked some of my friends to tell me some of the things that I have maybe taught them over the years. And to be honest with you, I didn't expect some of the things that have come up.

It's been quite lovely going down memory lane. And what I would like to start by saying, is you never really know how you are impacting people daily, right. From being a child right through to adulthood, there is something unique about you. And however, you're showing up. Um, you will be affecting people in extraordinary ways every single day.

So it's quite an excellent exercise to do actually, um, maybe ask your friends and family, what life lessons you have taught them. It's a fascinating thing to find out about. But before I do, I actually wanted to answer the questions that I ask my guests when they come onto the show, because I'm conscious that I've never actually done that for myself.

So I thought again, that will be quite a nice gift. To you for you to hear what my answers are. So the first question that I always ask is; how they came to be doing the thing that they're doing today, or what it was they were doing previously and how they managed to end up in the career or the business that they do today.

Now I'll be frank with you. I always find this question quite tricky. And that's because if you listen to episode one, where I talk about how to be a successful serial quitter, I have pivoted a ridiculous amount of times. It's challenging to say in a swift couple of sentences, how I came to be doing what I do today when I have had so many pivots, So I'm going to try and keep this nice and short. I actually need to learn how to get quicker at saying this.

But my career journey has been just that. It has been a series of pivots from, working in retail to working, in manufacturing, in accounts, to working for local governance, being a project manager, working in events, working in births, marriages, and deaths working in sectors that have allowed me to work across several different directorates whether that's working on things to do with crime and disorder, health, inequalities, economic development, corporate affairs, working with businesses and the business sector, Marketing and being a blogger, the list goes on and on.

So my career journey has just been that – a journey of pivots that I'm incredibly proud. It has allowed me to see so many different aspects of the business and has allowed me to network with a wide range of people and have such a great network of individuals in my life, it's allowed me to learn from so many different people and see things from so many different perspectives.

And I am incredibly proud to have quoted a million trillion times and that I'm now able to do the thing that I do today, which is I am a business and career strategist. I help people to either pivot in their careers, or I help them to start a business. And I really hope for the visualise you show will allow people to listen to the stories of others and to.

See themselves doing that for themselves in the future. . So that, in a nutshell, is my career journey and check out episode one. When I do talk about how to be a successful quitter.

The second question that you always ask is, can you identify the exact moment you knew you had to pivot and change direction?

What was going on for you at that time? Now? Clearly, I couldn't tell you. Every single time I've pivoted. Because again, that would be another show in itself. But I will say there was one where there's been a couple of times, but there was one specific time when I pivoted, which took a lot for me to pivot because I had become so accustomed to the salary that I was receiving.

I was, I felt at that particular period in my life that. I wouldn't be able to find another job that allowed me to use precisely the same skills and experience and to get paid at the same level. And being at the age that I was, I just didn't think anybody would take a chance on me to do something better than that.

I got so stuck in a position for such a long time, and I spiralled out of control into the depths of depression. And it was an incredibly difficult time for me when I finally. Made the pivot. And let me say that it wasn't a, it really, wasn't a conscious decision to make you have it at that time, because my.

My mental health on my body was so exhausted from the day in, day out, doing that role, that it was really that my body and mindset, you know what? You can't do this anymore. I'm not going to let you do this anymore. And I have to stop because I couldn't physically get out of bed anymore and do it.

It was making me so, so ill so that pivot for me. Was thrust upon me. And that is what will happen to anybody who continues down that path for that period of time. Eventually, something we'll have to give, and you will not be able to do that anymore, but what happened as a result of that?

It meant I quit my job in an instant, to the point where I've not actually had the conversation with my other half about it. And we had the conversation after I'd made the decision. I can't do this anymore. Um, And, um, it was the best thing that I ever did. It was absolutely the best thing that I ever did.

Um, I didn't know what was going to happen next.

And so actually the next question is; If you had to identify one main life, lesson, you learned during your lowest and your highest points of your career or business journey, what would you say that was and why? Well, for me, whenever one door closes, another one will open.

Sometimes you're forced through it. Quiet, no kicking and screaming. But if you have ever had a decision that you've had to make, whether it's about a job or something else, some other decision in your life and you can't, you're not quite sure how to make that decision.

First of all, I would say then, if you can't think of the solution than just, it's not the time to make that decision, sleep on it. See how you feel in the morning. Today is not the day to make that decision. Once you decide, and you are clear in that conviction, what you already signed in, I'm telling you right now when you shut that door behind you.

Immediately, and this has happened so many times where immediately another door will open for you, and you will not necessarily know where that door is leading, but it will happen. I assure you, and maybe you can think of something in your life right now, um, or something in the past where you have made a decision.

You've eventually made that decision. And as soon as you've done that, another door has opened eight happens all the time. It is one of the mysteries of the universe, but it happens, and it always does. So one of the main life lessons through that period when I didn't light up job. And when I couldn't do it any longer, is that.

It's okay to not know what's happening next. The universe has plans for us that sometimes we cannot see, even though we might have amazing imaginations. We can be incredibly creative, and we can create vision boards, and we can journal, and we can create affirmations. And we must try to capture that visualisation in as much detail as possible.

Sometimes what we visualise as human beings will never be as amazing or as fulfilling as the thing that the universe is going to serve up on a float for you, because the universe knows what is required to move you forward.

So that has been one of my main life lessons.

The next question that I sometimes ask my guests, depending on who the guest is because sometimes this question isn't obvious to some people. Is if whoever I'm interviewing, isn't maybe a heart-centred spiritual self-driven person. Although I would say, we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.

It's just that some of us are more work to that than others. The question is whatever you call it, what is that thing that has always been calling you? Why do you do the work you do?

So for me, the golden thread that has run throughout my entire life since I was a tiny, tiny child right through to now has been this whole spiritual realm of worldly wisdom and trying to find the reasons and rationale behind everything that happens in my life.

I want to be able to understand and see the meaning in everything. And I literally mean everything. Whether that's the moon in the sky or a squirrel running down a fence or some numbers I see on a clock or somebody. I see by happenstance in the supermarket.

Or if something falls off a shelf in front of me, it has to clearly have meaning. Everything I see in the world to me has been in, and that has been a blessing and a curse because I feel so profoundly. I observe the world so profoundly that I want to understand everything.

And that has served me really well. My intuition is so heightened that I tend to know, and I can feel what people. Uh, thinking a lot of the time, uh, if you worked closely with me, you will understand that in more detail. Um, but I use my intuition every day. So for me, the thing that has always been calling me is this desire to understand the universe and how the forces of the universe play out in our everyday lives.

And the reason why I do the work I do today is that I want people to really appreciate their superpowers, really appreciate how amazing they are and really understand their skills and experience, to do whatever they want to do, because we can literally be whoever we want to be.

We just need to assume that identity and visualise ourselves in that situation. So that is what's calling me and has always been calling me, is this desire to fully understand this world that we live in.

So the next question that I ask is we all have skills and experience that we have amassed over the journey of our career. I like to call them superpowers.

What would you say one of your main superpowers is I've touched on this already. One of my main ones is intuition without a shadow of a doubt and connecting dots and hearing and seeing, and feeling. What is being said without verbal cues? Intuition is my best friend. It very rarely is wrong.

And so that really is one of my main. Superpowers. My other superpowers has been, being super positive, and for some people, this will probably be a massive turn off and just incredibly annoying. But I like being able to help others easily switch on that positive button to learn, to be grateful for all of the small and tiny things that we have in our life. And to know that when bad things happen, it's probably for the reason that is completely, unbeknown to us at that time. And yet the journey of going through that heartache, that heartbreak those difficult times, it will be so worth it in the end.

The sixth question I ask is – As entrepreneurs that we all have a platform of choice or particular strategy that is helping to share who we are in the world. What is that for you? And this question is really about helping the listeners to understand what is bringing the most success for business owners.

Um, And what I would say about this question is that it is different for everybody that I bring onto the show. And that's the beauty of it. And I think if you are starting a new career or you're starting a new business, and you're trying to get yourself out there, what works for you is not going to work for everyone. So the thing that works for me is—my ability to communicate through words. I love copywriting. I love storytelling. I love sharing with people through written form through storytelling. Um, it's something that I've always been incredibly passionate about and, um, and I enjoy doing it.

But if you heard in a previous episode, I think it was episode seven with Pascal iFintoni. One of my English teachers actually said that my work was horse manure. You are, and that's difficult to hear when you're a child. Um, so for a long time, I thought my writing wasn't particularly good, but as I got older, um, I started blogging, to get over depression when I was in that particular job, I hated, um, to get my thoughts on paper and how that evolved was it allowed me to talk more about personal development and spirituality, but it also allowed me to talk about marketing. Um, and some of the creative ways that I was generating leads back in the late two-thousands, 2008, nine suit around 2013, 14. And then I did it right for about seven years. I didn't write, um, at all because I was so busy with, um, Managing business depart programs. So for me, writing is right up there in terms of how I'm able to get myself out there in the world.

But now clearly the podcast has been a massive growth engine. So just in the last, um, well coming up to about six weeks now, I think of the podcast. In fact, I think it is six weeks, um, or thereabouts.

And I have been amazed by the way that people consume podcasts. So looking at my most recent podcasts stats, I'm coming up to 500 downloads across 13 different countries. And of those I'm, I've had about 250 unique listeners, which means that people on Aboriginal listening to model pop podcasts, which is, is absolutely brilliant.

I'm totally thrilled with that. So, um, I've just been shocked by the sheer range of countries that have been downloading the podcast. So 46.4% of listeners are from the United Kingdom, which you would expect. The next most significant number in the United States, with 32.9% of my listeners are coming from, and then, and this is the surprising one, 12.9% of listeners are coming from India.

Now the remainder of the listeners, which makes up the remaining of about. 8% are coming from the countries of, and if you're one of the listeners in these countries, that is probably just the lonesome you, so thank you for listening. If you are a listener in Bermuda, a New Zealand, Belgium, Canada, Russia, Singapore, Australia, Ireland, Mexico, Mexico, and Portugal.

I thank you all.

So for me, um, writing and podcasting is obviously my way of helping me get out there in the world right now. I'm thoroughly enjoying it. The podcast is actually a bit of a growth engine. If I'm frank, right now, I'm really excited about where that's going next. And I'd look to share more of my knowledge around the podcast with you in later episodes and how that's going for me.

The final question that I like to ask is. What do you visualise in your future for your business and career, and what's coming up next for you? So obviously, um, visualisation plays a massive part of my life. Um, I have been meditating for a long time. I. Being my affirmations for a long time. I journal every Sunday evening at 10:00 PM.

I, um, journal three things I really want to focus on. And then I write and journal in as much detail as possible. Um, what that visually represents and look, look like. And I revisit that every single Sunday and each Sunday I will leave her out. Continue to add to that vision. Or I will look at some new things I won't want to come up.

Some of these can be kind of long term visions, like writing or selling a book. So there's been times in my career and job where maybe we've had an event that we've had to fill. We might have needed 200 people to attend this event. I will get incredibly clear on visually how that is going to happen down to the nitty-gritty of what it's going to feel like when we've got 200 people in the room.

What the atmosphere is going to be like, what the speakers are going to be like on the stage, what the visuals and the backdrop of that event are going to look like, what the noise and sound are going to be like, how it's going to feel like for people, what they're going to be learning.

Even the food that we, I go into so much detail. So when. I think about my future. You can imagine that I've done this quite a number of times. And, um, I couldn't possibly go into every single area of my life right now on this. But what I would say is that I visualise for me in the future that I will. Be able to help thousands of businesses and individuals who want to pivot in their career to do it, to take that leap of faith.

I want the podcast to be that growth engine that inspires others to take massive action. There will be courses there will be masterminds. There will be books. There will be speaking opportunities. There will be amazing opportunities to network with so many people all over the world. I'm so, so excited about what Visualise You is going to be and mean for me in the future.

And I'm so pleased that you're part of that journey. It means so much to me, to have listeners listening to this and supporting me on that journey? It means so, so much. Obviously, I have visions for my health, for, you know, the other things in our life. Like the materialistic things that, you know, we all like to have in our life, whether it's a new car, I'm manifesting a new car right now because I don't have a car that's gone kaput.

Um, but things like, you know, your home, what that looks like and, um, And the relationships with our family and just every single aspect I would. Deeply encouraged you to get more clear on your vision for all areas of your life. And it can be as simple as journaling every Sunday, or you could create vision boards and go the full hog.

It really is up to you. And what works for you. So those are the seven questions. Um, I hope that's given you a little bit more insight. I thought it'd be quite lovely for me to do that with you today.

Right the other thing that I want to mention with it be my birthday is the gratitude challenge. I'm so excited to share this with you. So I said it, I've mentioned it on a couple of shows now, and I've actually decided to make this a free challenge, which I'm incredibly excited about doing, um, because I want so many people to benefit from this gratitude challenge. I'd love for you to come on this journey.

So I just want to explain a little bit about. What the gratitude challenge actually is and what you can expect from it. And then just go ahead, sign up. It's completely free. You just need to go to visualise you.com forward slash gratitude. I'm getting a member vault community at Reddit for you, and there will be a Facebook community as well. Still, I'm excited to share with you right now, what it will involve.

So the challenge we'll start on the 1st of December. And it was really important to me that we close out 2020 because it has been really horrible for everyone. So each day during December, apart from three days over Christmas.

So I think it's Christmas Eve Christmas day and boxing day, there will be no gratitude challenge because you must spend time with your families. We don't know what situation we're going to be. Or, whether we can actually do that or not. But I think it's essential that you spend your time with family and you're not doing your gratitude challenge with Beth in the community.

That's, that's not where I want you to be over those three days. So it will be 28 days throughout December, each day, there will be a post in the community where you get to share three things that you're grateful for. And this is just to get you into the habit of sharing something different, three different things, every single day that you are thankful for.

So that's the first thing, but then over the four weeks, there will be different themes. So, for example, in week one, We will be focusing on everyday gratitude. So this is just for you for the first seven days to get used to giving appreciation for the simple, simplistic things in our life, the things that are there that we just take for granted, but actually we should be really grateful for.

Such things like, I don't know, words to describe your family that really made you think about why you love them so much. Um, What's in your fridge, those kinds of things. I mean, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants right now, but something that we all have in our home and around us, or the interactions that we have with people every day that we can give gratitude for and that we shouldn't just overlook them because we see them there and just take them for granted. So that would be week one where we are very much focused around everyday gratitude. Still, also in week one, I want to introduce you to the emotional guidance scale. Something that I think showed up in the book Ask and It I Given by Jerry and Esther Hicks. And this is the scale takes you from despair all the way through different emotions until you get to the top, which is joy. It's all about thinking a different thought that will move you up the emotional guidance scale. And what I would say is that being able to think in that way will allow you to be grateful for more things, but it also allows you to release resistance and to start to manifest and to create and generate those things in your life that you want to see showing up week two will be all about finding your unique.

Voice. This is something that I am so incredibly passionate about because I had been somebody that has not necessarily always used my unique voice, day in, day out. It's not something that I share with everybody in all areas, and that is now changed. So I would wear different hats, and I would present myself in different ways, depending on the environment and the people that I was networking with.

And that just doesn't, you know, in the long run, that doesn't help anybody. Why should I hide who I am from people? Why can I not just show up and be myself? So this is about, um, being able to find your unique voice. That is the trend in that I will be delivering in week two but in part of the.

Reflections week two will be all about embracing your uniqueness. So this will be things, you know, we'll be reflecting on the kind of thing, like who inspires you? Where do you go to find your joy? You know, those kinds of things, as well as continuing to show up and, uh, Gave the three things that you're grateful for in week three, the focus will be on your superpowers.

And so the training will be around superpowers, and it kind of follows on from your unique voice, but rarely taking stock of what, what are those amazing skills and experiences that you should be? Absolutely 10000000% sharing with the world. And so, um, We'll be continuing to give gratitude, but actually, the reflections that we have that week will be very much around your uniqueness in, in everyday life.

Things like who are you the go-to girl or guy for? What questions do you absolutely love to answer? Like if somebody asked the question right now, what, what would the kind of question be that you absolutely love to answer? Because it just fills you up with light inside for me. The questions that I love to answer would be about wisdom, about inspiration and life purpose and those things, and just understanding the universe that would light me up inside.

And then week four will be the, um, we'll continue to do the gratitude. There's a bit of a theme coming here. Can, can you see? And, but week four will be all about visualising and you gave, so we'll, we will finish the final seven days with starting to think about what. What does the new version, the new and improved version of you, you actually look like.

The training for that week will be around journaling not journaling in the sense that you hear bullet journaling or journaling your thoughts and feelings, but actually journaling in a way that allows you to create, a forward projection of your vision of your new vision. So I'll teach you all about that.

So I'm so, so, so, so excited about this, I'm sure you can hear from my voice, this is my birthday gift to you of my 40 years of wanting to do something like this. I really hope you'll join us on that. You just need to go to visualise you.com forward slash. Gratitude. And I cannot wait for you to join us in that community, eats free, bring your friends.

You can join right aware, and we can hang in the community. And, um, but then, the real good stuff is going to start the 1st of December. And we will see 2020 out with a bang and be completely ready and renewed for 2021.

Okay. Now the other thing that I am super excited about right now I'm currently working with a company called startup sanctuary. Now they're a new business, but they're doing some premieres in things for businesses. Now their whole business is around building the business of you.

So one of the things that they really believe is that your uniqueness is your competitive advantage and that when you equip yourself with the tools and processes and knowledge, you can build a business and live your life on your own terms.

So what they've done is kind of created a bit of a community where you can learn, um, skills and experience from other people through courses and training. And I am super excited to tell you that the visualisation ball is going to be available on that platform. I will leave a link in the show notes where you can find out more about that company, but I just thought it might be something that you would be interested in having a look at. They have, um, a community, um, on, they believe that that collaborative environment will help businesses go further. And I certainly believe in that as well.

So check them out, and I can't wait to share—the visualisation about where the whole host of new people in a new different community. So look out for that and shout out to Gordon, Frayne at the Startup Sanctuary and everybody who's working really hard behind the scenes to launch the startup sanctuary on the 14th of October.

So I want to finally finish on—40 life lessons. I have learned over the last 40 years. Some of them are silly. Some of them are deep and meaningful because that's who I am. Some of the things that my friends and family have told me that I had completely forgotten about. It's quite lovely hearing from old school friends and that, uh, the impression that I have left on them.

So I want to share with you the life lessons that I have learned over the period of the last 40 years.

1) Challenges are opportunities in disguise.

2.) Everything always works out in the end.

3.) Delegate as much as possible

4.) Nothing is impossible.

5.) What you think about you attract

6.) You are capable of things beyond your comprehension.

7.) There is no challenge. You cannot overcome.

8.) Your health and mental wellbeing are more important than anything else.

9.) What anyone thinks of you is none of your business.

10.) Soya sauce on chips is really nice. Thank you to Joanne Chambers for reminding me of that one

11.) If you can't decide on something today, then today is not the day to make the decision

12.) It's okay to change your mind.

13.) You can quit your job or anything you don't like as many times as you like, and you will never be a failure.

14.) We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

15.) Always believe in yourself.

16.) Family is everything.

17.) An inanimate object can actually be one of your best friends. Shout out to Harry the HP printer.

18.) It's okay to be sad. Allow yourself to see what there is to see, hear what there is to hear and feel what there is to feel.

19.) You can learn a lot about life by watching Columbo. For example, perseverance pays off; the art of questioning everything and everyone in the right way and being humble, but being tough when you have to be. Thanks, Columbo.

20.) And I apologise in advance for any Liverpudlians or Scousers who may be offended by this life lesson. This one was sent in by my old primary school friend, Lena Rhodes, who said the, I suggested back in the nineties, that the best way to perfect a Scouse accent is to say the words. Don't throw the trainers in the pool like this.

Don't throw my trainees in the pool.

Apologies.

21.) Whenever you think about people who are maybe in authority or perhaps they're in a higher position than you are right now, just remember that they are only human beings. You don't need to be afraid of them.

22.) Your vibe will attract your tribe. Don't be afraid of being who you are.

23.) If you don't have all the essential criteria on a job description, but you really want the job still apply.

24.) If you don't ask, you'll never get.

25.) If you like your ice cream, slightly softer. Put it in the microwave for about five seconds,

26.) You don't need to iron your clothes no one actually notices anyway.

27.) HelloFresh will save you time, money and sanity of not spending a ridiculous amount of time each week preparing food ideas for your family.

28.) It's okay to not know what to do next. The universe always has a plan.

29.) Learn to use the emotional guidance scale to get you to a better feeling thought.

30.) Sent in by Dawn Lightwood – A captain always needs a copilot. Thank you, copilot Lightwood for that suggestion.

31.) It costs nothing but time and a bit of imagination to journal, practice, gratitude, and visualise a new reality.

32.) Don't let anybody steal your joy.

33.) If you get up each morning, not loving what you're going to be doing that day. It's time to get out of the situation you are in.

34.) Apply for the X factor when you're in your twenties, not your forties.

35.) it's okay to say no

36.) Eat the frog from the well-known book by Brian, Tracy, where he. Recommends you do that one task. That is the biggest thing on your to-do list; to propel yourself forward on a day to day basis,

37.) Which is also frog related. I was a lover of frogs when I was a child. Sent in from my again, a primary school friend, Kate Sharp, who said, apparently I said, tree frogs rock. Apparently, we did a piece of work on tree frogs in primary school, and tree frogs do indeed rock.

38.) You can't be everything to everyone.

39.) Honesty really is always the best policy. When you hold secrets inside, they will eat you up and eventually manifest into something that you probably don't want to happen. So always try to be honest.

and finally, 40.) Sent in by my good friend Claire Youd who I've known since secondary school. Apparently, I said, life is like a box of sardines smelly.

Okay. So I hope you have enjoyed 40 life lessons. I hope I did actually say 40. I got kind of lost along the way. I really enjoyed it doing this special birthday edition of the Visualise You show. I cannot wait to see what happens next with the show, and just thank you to everybody who has downloaded, listened, shared, left a review.

You've made 2020, really special for me. So I look forward to bringing you more amazing shows, more amazing guests and experts and remember to check out the gratitude journey. I would be ecstatic to see you in the community. Speak to you soon. Bye-bye.

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